Don't Buy Your Child's Love!

Remember Vercua Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Here is a funny momment!


We all had a laugh watching this scene in the movie and many of us laughed when she fell down the shoot with the "bad eggs". The problem with this is her father would buy everything for her instead of dealing with the issue. Parents who buy presents to "smooth things over" so they do not have to deal with the child screaming are in for a shock as that child gets older. When the child gets older, he or she will start to learn that if a temper tantrum is thrown, he or she will get their way. This will get out of hand and also get expensive.

I mean think about it. A 16 year old girl wants a car. If she asks her parents in a respectful way, she might not get the car. Now, she has been raised all her life getting things bought for her when she throws her temper tantrums. Knowing this, she starts a temper tantrum wanting a car. Her parents, not wanting to hear her scream and yell, buy her a car.

Some might think, she got what she wanted but there are more serious things going on here. The child never learned to share. She never learned to obey her elders. She never learned to have respect for others and she has become very spoiled.

Don't let your child become a Veruca Salt. If your child is throwing temper tantrums and your instinct is to give in for what they want, STOP. Take a deep breath. It is ok to spank your child but please remember to do it out of love and not anger!

Spanking!

When my wife and I first learned we (I say we because the men need to be part of the pregnancy as well) were pregnant with Haylee, we started deciding different ways to parent this little being. Since it took so long to get her (three years) we wanted to do everything correctly. This was probably a big mistake. There is no way to raise a child correctly in everything. One topic we talked about was discipline. Neither one of us wanted to spank our little girl. We decided to not spank. We looked at different ways like time out, taking things away, and many other things. Once Haylee hit two years old, this all changed. Haylee is a very energetic little girl. She goes until she passes out. We started taking things away but it didn’t help at all. If we took all her toys away, she would just find something else to do. We tried washing her mouth out with soap and she liked the taste. We tried time outs. This would work for awhile but she out grew that. We knew we needed to start spanking. We searched the Bible and found a couple of bible verses that shows us God commands us to discipline our child. One of them is Proverbs 13:24Proverbs 13:24
English: World English Bible - WEB
24 One who spares the rod hates his son, But one who loves him is careful to discipline him. and the other is Ephesians 6:4Ephesians 6:4
English: World English Bible - WEB
4You fathers, don't provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.. Once realized we needed to do it out of love of our daughter, it became easier to do. The first few times broke our hearts. We cried along with her. There will be times when you will not want to spank your child. Then there will be times when you are worried you did it too hard. They key to that is to never spank out of anger. Sit with your child and explain why you are going to spank him or her. Let the child know God commanded you to do it. Find passages in the Bible that explain this. Then spank your child. When you are done, tell your child you love them and that is why you had to spank him or her.

Tempur Tantrums!

We have all heard of the terrible two’s. I personally do not like this because it labels the childs attitude. The attitude the child is giving is nothing more than he or she trying to communicate. This is the only way the child understands how to communicate. This is also the child trying to become an individual instead of an infant. With both of my daughters, I know usually when they are throwing the temper tantrums, they are ready for a nap or bedtime. For a long time, I did not know how to deal with Haylee throwing temper tantrums. At times I still don’t. It can be a little embarrassing because many times it is in public. I have learned that we need to remove her from the situation. One time while in a Florida airport, she had a tantrum. I came back to where they were and she was crying. I had no idea why but my wife said take her to the bathroom for a spanking. Although I had no idea why I was spanking her, I had to support my wife. We went to the bathroom, Haylee screaming all the way. I wanted to find out why I was spanking her so I asked her to calm down and asked why she was crying. She said she didn’t want to wear shoes. I said if mom asked her to wear her shoes, she needed to wear them. At that point, she got mad, stomped her foot and said she wasn’t going to wear them. Now I knew it was time to spank her. I took her in the bathroom praying there wasn’t many people in it. She knew she was going to get a spanking so she went balistic. I took her in the stall and I noticed there was a man in another stall. I did what I had to do praying he would not think I was beating her. This was a very embarrasing event because I was afraid someone would report me that I was beating her. I just have to remember that God has commanded us to discipline our children out of love when they are not acting appropriately.